[Death's Queen 01.0] Death's Queen Page 11

“Perfect.” I'm not the only one who wants simple things.

  “Yes. Perfect,” Ranen says dryly. “As to matters of state, I wonder if you have considered letting me be an assistant advisor. Nash is very capable, but you would do well under my tutelage.”

  I feel Nash staring holes into me. Because of that, I temper my response. “Thank you for the offer, but I currently need no other assistance.”

  Ranen tenses his jaw. When I glance at Nash, he's barely suppressing the upward curl of his lips.

  “We, on the council, do a great job at guiding you, eh?” Borkus chuckles.

  I don't see anything funny.

  “The council is a great asset to the queen,” Nash says, “as are her ladies in waiting.”

  Not that I talk to either. I appreciate his support, though.

  “As stimulating as this conversation is, some of us have work to do.” Ranen gives another stiff bow and takes off back the way he came.

  I watch him until he disappears from sight.

  “I must be going as well,” Faya says. “It was a pleasure to bump into you, Your Highness.”

  “And I will follow after you,” Borkus says.

  They both bow before passing by Nash and me and following Ranen.

  Once they're out of sigh, I whisper, “That was quite the meeting.”

  Nash and I continue walking. His strides match my own, quicker now than before.

  “You don't like talking of clothes and frivolities?” he asks.

  I snort. Thankfully, he lets it pass. “The gardens are a busy place today,” I say.

  “So it would seem.”

  “Thank you for having my back.”

  He glances at me. “I will always have your back.”

  The warmth from earlier returns, even if I'm not ready to leave myself unguarded.

  Chapter 24

  Barely anything happens before the lady in green says, “You've been avoiding me.”

  Easy answer to that. “Don't talk about things I don't want to discuss, and we won't have that problem.”

  “We have so much work to do.” She sighs. “All is well. I'm here for you, whenever you need me. Now, let us begin. Who are you?”

  I hesitate. Am I ready to say this? Whether I am or not, it's true. “I am the queen.”

  She smiles at me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You are, as am I.”

  “You?”

  “Yes. I am the first queen.”

  “The first? Ever?”

  “For Valcora, yes,” she says.

  “How can this be?”

  “From the Mortum Tura. You didn't think the only thing it did was make you queen, did you?”

  “I never thought about it.” What else does it do? Or do I now know all?

  “That's why I'm here. To help you with thinking about things you need to. Things that will help you rule.”

  “What's your name?”

  “You can call me Queen.”

  It's weird that, when I finally accept that's who I am, I find someone else who is as well.

  “Now, are you ready to tell me who Daros is?” she asks. It feels like she’s trying to tap into my mind. To chip away at my mental defenses.

  “Not likely,” I say.

  “Fine, then. We'll do things the long way. Eventually you will tell me, you know.”

  I cross my arms. “We'll see.”

  “A queen doesn't cross her arms like that. It gives away her emotions.”

  I don't uncross them. “What if I want to give my emotions away?”

  “Then I suppose it's acceptable.”

  “Is that what I'm coming here for? To learn more about the things everyone in real life is trying to teach me?”

  Her face softens. “No. I mean, yes, there will be some of that. I will help you in any way I can, but that's not why I left a part of myself behind.”

  “Why did you? And how?”

  “The how isn't important yet. Right now, you need to know why,” she says. “When I made the cup the way it was, I knew it would draw a lot of women.”

  “Wait. You made the cup?”

  “I did. I needed a way to help those who become queen. You see, the cup is made special so that only those who don't want the power of being a queen can become one.”

  “So it would have only killed me if I didn't want it to?” The thought stuns me.

  “Correct. I had to leave something behind to guide you because I knew only girls who would be in a vulnerable place would become queens.”

  “Why would you want that?” I ask, still at a loss.

  “Because those who want to become queen are power hungry. They don't want what's best for the country; they want what's best for themselves. They want to be able to say they rule over all. It's not what I wanted for my country.”

  “I can understand that.” I know all about power-hungry people. “But isn't killing the rest of the girls going too far?”

  She sighs. “I regret that it had to be so. There was no other way for me to make the cup. It had to be done like this or not at all.”

  I don't understand magic. It's as brutal as Daros.

  She lifts her eyebrows, and I clamp down all thoughts of Daros.

  She purses her lips. “I'm getting off course. I knew when I designed the cup that it would create queens who would not necessarily want to live. Some didn’t want to die, but only took the Mortum Tura because of family or friends pressuring them into taking it. But you're not the first to feel your life wasn't worth living.”

  “If you knew why, you'd agree with me.”

  “It's very strange that I can't see the reason. You bury it deep. Please tell me. I can help you work through this, but it starts with talking.”

  “I can't.”

  I bolt awake. To my surprise, tears wet my cheeks.

  Chapter 25

  Inkga is readying me for the day. My new clothes haven't been made yet, but she's made a few alterations to the ones I own, so I don't have to go around in quite as much lace and fluff. Plus I have easier access to my weapons.

  “Do you know how the plans for the ball are coming along?” I ask, pushing away thoughts of the first queen trying to find out why my life is no longer worth living.

  “It should be quite the event. I don't think the people have seen anything like it in their lifetime.”

  “Good.” As I want it to be.

  “There.” She does the last button. I'll be glad when they're all where I can reach them once again. “There's someone who wants to see you as soon as you’re finished.”

  “Oh?”

  “Your lady in waiting, Jem.”

  I want to grind my teeth at the thought of her, but I refrain myself. “What does she want?”

  “I'm not certain.”

  Wonderful.

  “That will be all,” I say, moving to my sitting room while Inkga follows me. “You may send her in as you leave.”

  “Yes, Your Highness.” With a bow, she leaves the room.

  I take a seat on the comfiest of chairs. Despite that, I don't feel comfortable. I feel…something. That talk with the first queen has me on edge. I wonder if anyone has ever heard of her before, besides previous queens who I can't speak with. I feel like she can be trusted—like she really can help—but I'm not ready to open up.

  There's a knock on the door. I wish it was Nash.

  “Enter,” I call out.

  In sways Jem, and she closes the door behind her. She gives me a curtsy, and I motion her up. As much as I'd like to keep her in suspense, it's too awkward.

  “Sit,” I say.

  She takes the chair across from mine. “Thank you for seeing me, Your Majesty.”

  I hold back a grunt. “What do you need?”

  She takes a deep breath. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was shaky. “It's about the ball.”

  Of course it is. I give her a keep-talking look.

  “The other ladies in waiting and I want to be more involved.”

  “I'm no
t the person to ask about that.”

  She crinkles her eyebrows. “But you are the queen.”

  “Things are different now than when my predecessor was here.” I should make them even more different. It's time I tackle the laws and find a way to feed the Poruah class. If the Kurah class can make a feast for me, surely there's a way we can achieve that.

  “Maybe things shouldn't be different.” Jem startles me out of my thoughts.

  “You dare disagree with me?”

  She straightens her back and stares me down in a way that makes me think she's ready to start a fight. “Ladies in waiting have an important part too.”

  “If you mean not getting tested to become queen and wanting to get rid of me so you can do so, then it's not so important.”

  She stands, face going red. “Taking your life didn’t cross my mind. If you would stop being so self-centered you'd see there's a lot we have to offer.”

  Her words sting with truth. “You have nothing to offer me.”

  “Fine. But don't come crying to me when you can't do everything and you need help. We won't be there to give it to you,” she says and storms from the room.

  Why do I have a feeling I made a horrible mistake?

  I stay up late thinking. As much as I don’t want to admit it, maybe Jem was right. When I finally go to sleep, there are no dreams. No nightmares. No lady in green.

  Chapter 26

  In the morning, I finish getting ready and dismiss my servants.

  There's a knock on my sitting room door.

  “Come in,” I say.

  Nash enters with a bow. He shuts the door and picks a chair.

  “How are you this morning?” he asks.

  “Well enough. You?”

  “Charmed to be in your presence.”

  My cheeks heat. “Now you're trying to flatter me.”

  “Get used to it. It will happen often while you're the queen.”

  “Is that why you said it?” I ask.

  “Um…Precisely.” He glances away from me. “Should we get on with our lesson?”

  I'd rather wrestle with him more. “Fine.”

  He starts with his lecture for the day, but I only give half an ear. I should pay attention, but Jem's visit yesterday has me unsure of what to do. It's difficult to think of much else. It’s occupied my thoughts all morning.

  Does she want to help me, or does she want to see me fail so she can have a chance at being the queen? She'd also have a large chance at dying, but maybe it'd be worth it to her. It seems worth it to so many people.

  What about the other ladies in waiting? What are they after? There's no way to know for certain if I don’t give them a chance. Is there a way I can use them without risking anything? Perhaps.

  “Have the ladies in waiting help with the ball,” I tell Nash.

  “Where's this coming from?” he asks. “I thought you stayed away from them as much as possible.”

  “What gave you that idea?”

  “The fact that you didn’t want anything to do with them. You never invite them in like the other queens did. They’d spend an hour with them every day. Though they weren’t the same ones you have, she listened to their advice as much as to the Head Advisor's.”

  “You want me to listen to someone's advice besides your own? Someone who might want me dead?”

  “That's not what I'm saying, though I don't think it's bad to get more than one person's perspective on things.”

  I shrug. “I don’t want to be best friends with them, just have them help with the ball.”

  “Well, it will be a good thing. My sisters are doing a great job with it so far, but more hands would make it easier.”

  “Good.”

  What else do we need to talk about? The dreams. Should I tell him they're happening? Something in me curls away from that idea. I don't want to sound more insane than he already thinks I am.

  Still, I want to know more about them. To understand them. How can I get that information?

  “Tell me if you know anything about the first queen of Valcora,” I say.

  “That's a different question than what we usually cover.”

  I shrug.

  “Don't get me wrong—I think history is important, but this seems out of nowhere. You're surprising me today.”

  “Just keeping you on your toes.”

  He smiles, and something about that smile makes me want to move closer.

  Instead, I clear my throat. “So do you know anything?”

  “Honestly, I should know a lot more about history than I do, but I didn’t go to school.” That's no surprise; only the wealthiest can afford to send their children. “There's bound to be information around the palace library if you're interested in learning something, though. I don't know how much they'll have about the first queen, since she reigned so long ago, but there should be at least something.”

  “I'll keep that in mind.”

  He leans closer. “What's this all about?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You seem different. Like there's something else going on that you're not telling me.”

  I contemplate speaking with him about my dreams, but what would I say? It's not like magic is common; it's a distant myth, barely spoken of. He might believe me, but do I want him to know? Until I'm sure, I can't do it. “There's lots I don't tell you.”

  “I really wish you would. It would be helpful to us both.”

  “So you keep saying.”

  He mutters something.

  “What was that?”

  He opens his mouth and then stops himself. “You know, I don't have to tell you unless you order me to. You're not the only one who can keep secrets.”

  “At least I don't do it out of spite.”

  He huffs. “You're right. I shouldn't keep secrets just because I'm upset with you. But that doesn't mean you're going to like what you’ll hear.”

  “Tell me anyway. I can handle it.” Can’t be much, compared to what I'm used to handling.

  “Fine. I hate that you don't share things with me. I hate this stubborn trait you have. It's all right to keep things close sometimes, but you keep everything close. You don’t tell anyone anything. How is that helpful?”

  “It's not. Maybe that's the point.”

  He stands, walks over to the window, and leans outside. “Don't you have any feelings? Doesn't anything affect you?”

  His words do, more than I want to admit. Right down to my very core. But what good would saying so do? “I appreciate your opinion.”

  “My opinion?” He laughs—a semi-hysterical sound. “My opinion? Come on. There have to be more feelings in you than that. Please, open up to me.”

  I bite my lip. Feelings weren’t allowed at Daros's. Just because I'm not there anymore doesn't mean I’m suddenly able to. Perhaps it should, but I don't know how. “I'm afraid I can't do that.”

  “Well, then I'm afraid I can't stay in this room any longer. I can't be held liable for what else I might say.” He gives me a final glance before clenching his jaw and leaving the room.

  Even knowing secrets are meant to be kept, I wish I could have shared some emotion or thought with him.

  Chapter 27

  “Your new clothes have arrived, Your Majesty,” Inkga says when I enter my sitting room. “You should try them on, or look at them, to make certain they're what you want.”

  “That's fine.” I don’t want to look at clothes, but I'd rather make sure I'm not stuck with more lace and layers.

  “Wonderful. And the kitchen sent up a tray for you while we work.”

  She leads me into the bedroom, where clothes are laid out on the bed. A tray of snacks and a cup sits on the vanity.

  “They didn't send anything for you,” I say.

  She looks down, her cheeks turning red. “It's not proper for me to eat in your presence.”

  “Fiddlesticks. Send for another tray, same as this one. I refuse to take a bite from it until you do so.”

>   She curtsies. “As my Queen wishes.”

  She goes into the sitting room, opens the door, and talks to someone I can't see. The gowns, tunics, and pants one the bed call to my attention. They are simple, like I wanted. Even the most elaborate gown among them is a far cry from the dresses they've been tying me into.

  Inkga's feet pad against the carpet as she returns. “Do you like them?”

  “What I've seen so far, yes. I do.”

  “Why don't you try some on? Then you'll be able to really tell if you like them or not.”

  “I am aching to get out of this dress.” I’d been strapped in the layered monstrosity since this morning.

  She hums an unfamiliar tune as she moves to the bed. “Which one would you like to try first?”

  I pick the simplest outfit. Black pants with a blue dress and matching belt, with spots for my daggers. I prefer to keep them hidden, but this will do. There's no point in keeping them hidden now people know I defend my own life.

  Not that I want them to make the connection that I'm an assassin. The last thing I want is for anyone to know what I've done.

  “My Lady,” Inkga says, interrupting my thoughts, “would you like to try this outfit on?” She points to the one I was contemplating.

  “Yes. Help me take off this gown.” I wish I could do it myself, but it's impossible with the multitude of buttons in the back.

  I move in front of the mirror and turn around so I can watch while she undoes the buttons. I'm not worried that she’ll want to take my life. She seems nice, but even those who seem kind have hidden agendas. She could want any number of things that don’t have to do with my death.

  “How have your meetings been going, Your Majesty?” she asks.

  “Still learning things about the government. I didn’t realize there was so much to it.”

  She removes the top dress and starts in on the next layer. “There is a lot, and I don't understand a fraction of it.”

  I keep silent as she finishes undressing me. She pulls up the tunic.

  “I can get this part myself.” I snatch it from her hands.

  “But, Your Majesty, how am I going to be of service if I don't help you dress.” She twists her hands together.