You Are Mine Page 19

  “We shouldn't make her if she doesn't want to,” Waverly says.

  Katherine catches my gaze in the mirror. “What do you say, Serena?”

  I lick my lips. “I suppose it wouldn't hurt.”

  A grin spreads across her face. “Waverly, will you redo her hair? I've seen some of the things Envadi do with hair. Don't let her get away with this severe bun thing anymore. I'll grab some face paint.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Fifteen minutes later, my hair is braided and twisted around the back of my head, with a few wisps left by my face. Not a style seen in Chardonia. My face paint is subtle, but makes my eyes look bigger, my mouth a little redder, and my cheeks as if I'm blushing. It looks good.

  “Why don't you go out so you can see his face when she comes out?” Waverly suggests.

  “Yes, all right,” Katherine says. “You can do this, Serena. Don't forget to smile.”

  After she hurries out the door, Waverly says, “You really don't have to do this if you don't want to.”

  Part of me really wants to and part of me is shying away. I shrug. “You've already transformed me. If I don't want to do more than that, I won't.”

  Her lips tighten. “Be careful.” She opens the door and I follow her through the hall. When we reach the receiving room, she holds up a hand for me to wait and enters.

  “May I present Serena, Master Zade.”

  Does she know she broke protocol by announcing my name first? No corrections are forthcoming. At least not in front of everyone. I try to calm my nerves, but my hands start shaking. I paste a smile on my face like Katherine said to and step into the room. My sisters look at me, but I watch Zade. His expression changes to something I don't recognize. After a few moments, he scowls. As soon as he does, I want to scowl back, but decide to pretend like it doesn't bother me. Dressing up feels good, I don't have to let him ruin it.

  Zade's hand bunches into a fist on his lap. “Have you drank that tea again?”

  “What? No.” Where is this coming from?

  “Then someone slipped it to you.”

  “Zade,” Waverly says, “I've been with her and no one gave her anything. She didn't eat or drink while we were back there.”

  His eyes never leave mine. “Is this true?”

  “It is.”

  “Then why is your face paint different, and your hair? Why are you smiling?”

  The smile falls from my face. I made the wrong choice. I knew there was something awry with smiling. And the hair and face paint. Why did I let them talk me into it? Waverly hides her face behind her hands and Katherine chuckles. Them finding humor in the situation makes my muscles tense.

  “Forgive me,” I say. “I was pleased with the new dress.”

  “Oh.” His face pinks a bit and he sits back on the sofa. “Oh.” He stares at nothing and shakes his head. “You're never like this. The smile, never. And when you do, it's so rare and quick.” I rarely smile? “I thought...I'm a complete idiot.”

  “No need to worry about that, Master Zade,” Waverly says.

  For a moment his scowl deepens before lightening. “It's a nice dress. Your hair is good, too.”

  “Waverly styled it differently.”

  He grins at her. “I like it.”

  I'm still trying to get over him calling himself an idiot again to think what their banter means, but a tiny knot forms in my stomach. Maybe he likes Waverly's styling, but not me trying it.

  “Please, sit,” he says. “There's no need for everyone to stay on their feet.”

  As Waverly and Katherine find their seats, I take my place back on the couch. I'm still overly aware of his presence next to me, but now it's charged with my failings.

  “The dress really is nice, Miss Katherine,” Zade says. “It's good of you and Waverly to put a smile on her face. Sorry I was so surprised at it.”

  “Thank you. It was a pleasure making it for her and Waverly has a hidden talent for doing hair.”

  Waverly shrugs. “It's how we do hair at home, just what I was asked to do.”

  “Well, it's good.” Zade leans toward her a moment, then seems to catch himself and leans back. The knot in my stomach multiplies. “Tell us, Miss Katherine, where do you get ideas for your dresses? I'm not overly familiar with women's fashions, but I can tell these are different from usual Chardonian dresses.”

  “Please do tell,” Cynthia says. “I love what you've done.”

  While she talks, I grab a biscuit and nibble on it

  “There's not much to tell, I'm afraid. Most of my ideas come from mixing what the tarnished have with what the wives wear. More practical, yet still beautiful. A few things from other countries. Where ever I can find inspiration.”

  “No one's done it yet, though,” Cynthia says.

  “A few have tried. Not exactly like my designs, but similar. None have succeeded.”

  “I for one hope you do,” Zade says. “You've done well. We'll have to see what we can do to get Serena to show the dresses off.”

  “I was thinking of wearing them while delivering some of the invites,” I say.

  “Splendid idea,” he responds.

  Katherine's face lights up. “That'd be kind. Thank you.”

  “Do you have any other designs we haven't seen yet?” Cynthia asks.

  “Mostly variations on things you've already seen, but there's one other thing.”

  “What is it?”

  “I'm not sure I should say.” She eyes Zade.

  “Go ahead. I won't get after you for having ideas.”

  She shifts in her chair. “I've made a few pairs of female britches.”

  My sisters and I all gasp. Waverly laughs. “We wear those all the time.”

  Even if they do it in Envado, it certainly isn't done here. All of Katherine's ideas have turned out to be good, but this one I don't think I'll ever like. Besides, society would never allow it.

  “I had heard Envadi woman wear them,” she says. “That's why I made some.”

  Zade says, “Perhaps you can talk these three into trying some.”

  “I'll see what I can do.” Katherine laughs.

  “I think the gardens will look lovely for the ball,” I say, desperately trying to change to subject. I can't imagine wearing breeches. Having those things clinging to my legs all day, I don't think I could stand it. And such little material? Hardly fitting for a woman.

  Talk of the ball resumes. Which girls we went to class with that we should invite. Who of them is likely to come. What will they likely wear. The talking continues so long, the girls soon have me lost with all the details again. I yawn.

  Zade stands, causing the conversation to halt. “You ladies carry on, I'm going to run some errands while in town.”

  As soon as he finishes, they continue, but I say, “Yes, Master,” and look him right in the eye, silently pleading for him to take me with.

  “I told you—” his expression lightens, before becoming stern, “woman, that you weren't leaving my side today. Stop being lazy and let's go.”

  The conversation halts.

  “Yes, Chancellor Zade.” I put on a sorrowful face for the girls. “Do you mind continuing without me?”

  “No,” Cynthia says. “We'll take care of things.”

  “I don't know what I would do without you,” I say.

  “Not have a very good ball,” she says.

  “Very true.”

  The girls laugh and I join them. I grab my cloak and exit the shop with Zade.

  “Thank you,” I say to Zade. “I don't mind a few details, but that was too much. I don't know why they enjoy it so much.”

  “So, they'll basically plan it for you?”

  “Shameful, isn't it?”

  He walks away from the carriage.

  The day is clear with a light breeze, but I shouldn't just walk around town. It wouldn't be seemly. At least, Father always said it wouldn't. “Where are you off to?”

  “Nowhere. I don't really have any errands
. You're not the only one that couldn't sit any longer.”

  “Should we take the carriage?”

  “Why? It's such a nice day.”

  “Should I really be going around town this much? Besides, this is the tarnished side of town.”

  “So? You found Katherine here.”

  That I did, but how does that make this acceptable? Before I can argue further, he sets off. I pull my cloak tighter around me, making sure it covers the engagement mark on my neck. It feels more conspicuous in the tarnished section of town. Though without being bald and having an inked face, it matters little. It makes me less jittery though.

  We walk in silence for a while. Soon, I grow more comfortable and take in my surroundings. Despite always hearing about tarnished being less than nothing, it's a nice area of town. Nicer than some areas inhabited by warlocks, and not at all like the rumors. The shops are tidy. We peek in a few windows. I'm surprised to see they don't look any different than the regular shops, except for the people running them, of course.

  When we move to the housing district, the yards are trim and well-kept. The houses are smaller than Father's, but have more wild flowers growing next to them. The walkways are neat and clean. We come to a park, not a person in sight.

  “Would you like to wander through?” Zade asks.

  “It looks lovely.”

  As I follow him into the park, the space between us lessens. I have the strangest urge to touch him. His arm maybe, or perhaps his hand. A part of me really wants to, but it seems like the wrong thing to do. I let a bit of distance grow between us and try to focus on the scenery. There's green everywhere with lots of winding paths. A small river runs through part of it with a bridge over it. A man appears in the distance. I think nothing of him until Zade slows.

  “What is it?”

  He shakes his head, but there's something. Everything about his movements becomes stiffer. My nerves heighten in response. A small part of me wishes I had a gun to pull out of my pocket. But it wouldn't help anyway, probably would only get us in more trouble. No matter what Zade thinks, women don't carry guns. A moment later the man is upon us.

  “Chancellor Zade, didn't think to see you here. This is—” his gaze roams over me. “Your intended? What are you bringing her here for?”

  It's then I realize that this is a warlock. No tattoos and a full head of hair. Do they wander down here often? His words to Zade make me think not, yet he is here. Better than him being the person threatening Zade's life, yet my muscles grow even more taut. What if he sees the dress I'm wearing?

  “Just showing her where she'll end up if she misbehaves. Really none of your business though, Councilman Barkley.”

  Another councilman. Worse and worse. My chest tightens. I step back and lower my head, watching them interact through my lashes.

  The man casts a gray apology spell. “So magnanimous of you to share such a grand idea. I'll have to bring my woman here next time she misbehaves. We have children so I can't really do it, but she doesn't need to know that.”

  Memories of Father punishing mother surfaces. A part of me wants to force this man's ideas back on himself. The other part wants to find his wife and comfort her. Maybe even hide her from him. But none of those things can happen. I'd be dead or tarnished and Zade along with me.

  “If you think it will help,” Zade says.

  “Course it will. The only thing that scares them more than us is the thought of becoming tarnished. Isn't that why you brought her here?”

  “Women behave differently to punishments is all.”

  “No, no, you've finally stumbled on a good idea. You haven't owned a woman long enough to know, but they need a firm hand. Remember that advice with your new toy.”

  I'm not a toy. Anger burns deep in my chest, but I do nothing. There's nothing I can do.

  “Course Envadi scare them plenty. Must work well for you, huh?” the Councilman asks.

  “As you say.”

  “Your woman does seem upset.” His eyes roam over me and I'm extra grateful for the cloak hiding my dress. I try to pull my expression into a neutral one. When did I get so bad at hiding my feelings?

  Zade steps in front of me. “She's not yours to worry over.”

  “Right you are.” The man chuckles. “About the proposed tarnished law, you're going to support it.”

  “I haven't researched it enough to know, yet.”

  “Best get to it then. Being nineteen doesn't excuse you from not doing your work.” He's only nineteen? I didn't know he was so young. The man continues, “The Grand Chancellor was working on the council at eighteen. You've no excuse. We expect better.”

  “That we can agree on.”

  It's silent. The type of silence there used to be before Father punished me. I shift a bit so I can see the Councilman. His eyes are narrowed at Zade as if searching for a deeper meaning. “Good. Best be on my way. Got a lunch appointment waiting for me, if you take my meaning. Before you leave, you should take her by the Red District, too. That will put the fear in her.”

  My cheeks flame as he passes by, his gaze lingering. Zade moves in front of me again. The man laughs as he passes out of sight. I can't decide whether I'm more angry about his behavior or my inability do anything about it.

  Quietly, Zade says, “Sorry.”

  Despite the warmth of my cloak and the mild day, I shiver. “It's not you.”

  “But I want to—” He huffs and puts his hands on his hips. “Things shouldn't be like this, for you, for women, for the tarnished.”

  “What should they be like?”

  He finally looks at me. “Different.”

  What does he know that he's not saying? Maybe he doesn't know anything. Maybe he's just wishing aloud. I've wished it enough myself. Yet, there has to be more. I want there to be a reason behind the thought. How can things be different?

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  A couple weeks later, I debate whether or not to include Waverly in on an idea I have. She would be the perfect person to consult, but something about how close she and Zade are stops me.

  “Anything else?” she asks.

  “No, thank you.” I'll ask Cynthia to assist. Bethany may help mother with the parties, but Cynthia helps mother with the furniture. And I won't have to spend extra time around Waverly wondering what's between her and Zade.

  I head for Cynthia's room and knock on her door.

  “Morning,” she says. “Come in. One of the servants wanted to fix my hair, but she couldn't get it the way Waverly has been doing yours. I was going to attempt it myself, but if I can't figure it out either, I was going to give Waverly a ring. What do you think?”

  “Let me help.” I settle myself behind her.

  While I do her hair, I worry over asking her. Maybe I shouldn't. Women don't make decisions like this. We always wait for the men to tell us to do them. But I really want to do something to help Zade. Forget what others think I should be doing, I will do this. “When we're done here, would you help me with something.”

  “With what?

  “The Chancellor isn't comfortable in any of the furniture we have. We should get him items that are bigger.”

  “That's easy enough to fix. Did he have anything specific in mind?”

  “Not really. At least one bigger chair.” It seems silly not to correct her, but it's strange for me to do this without being asked. And he would be more comfortable in things his size. Besides it's a way I can return the favor for everything he's done. “And I haven't seen his bed chamber, but perhaps a bigger bed. A better chair in the dining room, as well. Things for his study?”

  She nods. “Perhaps we should look around the house and see if anything would work. It would be faster than waiting to order it.”

  “I didn't think of that. It's a splendid idea.”

  “It may help give us a better idea of what he needs if we see what he has currently. Is he in today?”

  “No, there's a council meeting.”

  “I wonder
what they talk about so much.” A faraway look enters her eyes.

  “Me, too.” Like, what that tarnished law Councilman Barkley in the park was talking about. What is it all about? Will it affect Katherine?

  “In any case, it will give us a chance to look around without bothering him. Father always hated it when mother and I tried to figure out what furniture he needed while he was getting work done.”

  Sounds like him. But I don't want to think of him. “Let's go then.”

  We cross along the length of the house. It feels strange not taking any stairs to get where we are going. I twist my hands together. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I stare at his door. “Are you sure we should check now?”

  She nods vigorously. “You remember the time Father hexed you mute for a week?”

  “After I said you'd done it because I said you had to.” The memory is at the back of my mind with all the others I keep pushed back. “I never knew what you were doing for that one.”

  “I was going through his study taking inventory of what he'd broken and needed replaced. While working I made the mistake of singing and he came in and caught me at it.”

  “That explains the muteness. I never did get the chance to ask. By the time I got my voice back, mother had another baby.”

  She plays with her fingernails. “Thanks for always doing that for me. I never told you, but it meant a lot to me.”

  “Oh, Cynthia.” Remembering how it made me feel when Katherine wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back, I can't help but try likewise with my sister. At first, she's tense under my embrace, but soon she relaxes into tears. I pat her back. “It's all right, Cynthia.”

  “It's not,” she says between sobs. “You were punished so many times for me.”

  “And I'd do it many more.”

  “I don't deserve you for a sister.”

  “You're planning my ball, I'll call that good enough.”

  “It's not enough, but I'm trying my best.” She sniffs a few times before pulling away. “We should investigate his room before I end up crying all day and night and he comes home to us blocking his room.”