You Are Mine Read online

  “Yes, it'll be a fine addition to our party.” My eyes drift back to him and I hurry to look away. “Aren't you cold?”

  He laughs. “I'm hot. That's why I'm not wearing my jacket. I live in the mountains back home and it's always much colder than this.”

  “Oh.” I wonder what mountains are like.

  “I can run back to my room and get my jacket, if it'd make you more comfortable. I was working in my study. Didn't think to see you this morning, but something came for you.”

  I think about his offer. I'm not sure more comfortable is the right description. It would be easier to look at him without feeling...different. “What came for me?”

  “Well, it came for me, but it's really for you.” He holds out a letter, his face impassive. “It's from your Father.”

  From the lack of emotion on his face, I can't tell if it will hold good or bad news. My hand quivers as I take the note. “Have you read it yet?”

  “It was addressed to me, so yes I did.”

  “Is it about Bethany?”

  “Yes.”

  It takes me a couple of tries before I'm able to open it.

  Envadi Zade,

  I received your request for Bethany's aid in addition to Cynthia's for planning your upcoming ball. It is a very hard request to comply with since the two older girls are already with you. But upon consideration, I realized you can't possibly manage without more help.

  I must inform you that at times Bethany can be willful. You have my permission to punish her at will. She should need it often as Serena does. Expect her this afternoon.

  If you have any further need, let me know and I will assist in any way that I can.

  Councilman Stephen

  Before rolling the paper up, I brush my fingers across the words. I hand it back and sit on a nearby bench.

  “I thought you would be more excited to hear,” Chancellor Zade says. “Are you unhappy?”

  When I stay silent, he sits next to me. I glance at the letter he still holds.

  “It's not that. I'm pleased she's coming.” But hearing about liberal punishments is too much. Chancellor Zade hasn't done much to me yet, but he could. Father obviously thinks he should. Now the Chancellor holds that power over my sister, as well.

  “Are you upset over my power to punish her?”

  I clench my fingers together and say nothing.

  “If it is, I can assure you she'll come to no harm, just as I haven't punished you.”

  I should stay silent. Bethany would be shaking her head at me right now if she was here. “Yet, you have punished me once. I'm sure you have plans for more.”

  “You must be confusing me with someone else. I've never lifted hand nor hex to you.”

  “You didn't have to. Punishment was delivered all the same.”

  He squeezes the bridge of his nose. “Sorry if I've offended you in some way. If you don't mind me asking, how did I do it?”

  “How can you forget something so cruel?”

  He jumps from the bench. His words harsh. “Forgive me if I remember doing nothing cruel. Please feel free to remind me.”

  “Your false congratulations over my new baby sister. Taunting me with the note of her birth and insisting I share it with Cynthia. I would have preferred the customary beating for another sister instead of your false words.”

  He spins to face me, dropping his hands to the side. After a moment, he says, “You thought that was cruel?”

  “Of course.” But even as I say the words, I can't help but doubt them. He looks so shocked, his face drawn, brows raised, he's earnest.

  He kneels on the ground before me so we're about eye level and takes my hands. “Serena, I beg for your forgiveness. I had no idea of you being hurt by my comments. In Envado, a birth is always treasured and my mother taught me to treat those surrounded by a birth with respect.”

  I stare at him, unable to comprehend his words. Could it really be? Did he truly not mean to hurt me? Does he really not mean to ever punish me or my sisters? His eyes search mine. I can't help but want to believe him. A small flame of hope lights within me.

  “How do I know your words are true and not meant to set me up so the punishment is worse when delivered?”

  He hangs his head. His words are barely audible. “What have they done to you?”

  After a moment, he lifts his head and gives my hands a squeeze. “I doubt anything I say or do will make a difference on how you feel, but I'll give you what I can. You have my word that I will not intentionally harm you or your sisters. If I do, tell me and I'll fix it.”

  His hands are so firm, but giving, wrapped around mine. I don't know if I should believe him. I nod to let him think he's getting his way. At the very least it will give me time to think on it.

  With a sigh, he withdraws his hands and retakes his seat next to me. “Is that why the note bothered you?”

  “Yes and no.”

  “Tell me what else bothered you.”

  I hesitate then say, “The note was just a reminder of where I used to be and where my sisters still are. Without me there, I don't know what's happening to them.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.” I slump back. He sits without saying a word. “Is it like this in Envado?”

  “I hope that my actions have been a good example of what things are like there. Here though, everything isn't just different. It's wrong.”

  “Wrong how?”

  He looks as if he's going to say something, but shakes his head. After a moment, he says, “It doesn't matter. I have a council meeting I should prepare for, and you probably have some arrangements to make for your sister's arrival.”

  “I suppose I have.”

  But neither of us move. Cynthia readied a room across from hers, in hopes that Bethany would come. There's not much else to do until she gets here. I wonder what Chancellor Zade must do in preparation for a council meeting. I watch him from beneath lowered lashes. He slouches against the bench, eyes unfocused. Whatever he does must require a lot of thought. What is he thinking about?

  I watch him for a minute before building enough courage to ask, “Is it hard getting ready for a council meeting?

  His eyes come into focus. “You really want to know?”

  I lick my lips. He said he wouldn't punish me. Gave his word. Did he mean it? I steel myself in case he didn't. “I do.”

  “Why?”

  Why? It's something I've never thought of before, but all my life Father has attended council meetings. Warlocks discuss them all the time, even ones not on the council, though in general terms. Only tiny bits of clues slip out as to what goes on. I want to know more about those little hints. Know why I'm forced to marry when Father says I must. Know why my sisters and I must be punished.

  I straighten my skirt. “It seems to me there's a lot more going on than I always thought, and it'd be nice to know. Perhaps attend a council meeting.” I slap a hand over my mouth. After backing as far away from him as I can, I watch for signs of delivering pain. I've never been so outspoken before.

  “Are those your thoughts or did your Father put you up to this?”

  Not moving my hand from my mouth, I shake my head.

  His voice grows quieter. “No to which one, Serena? You have to tell me.”

  I put my hand on my skirt and clench it. I don't dare take my eyes from him. “Not my Father.”

  “I need to be sure. Would you be willing to let me cast a truth spell on you?”

  I bite my lower lip. He's asking and not just doing, that has to be better, right? Still, I don't want a spell cast on me.

  “I won't do it without your permission, so if you want continue this discussion we can after you answer a few questions under the spell. Any time you want to stop, we will, nothing further. You don't want to do it, fine, but I can't tell you more until I know for sure.”

  If I don't continue it now, I'll never do it. How much do I trust him? Not at all. Or perhaps some. He's more trustwort
hy than Father. And I do want to know more about the council. The tarnished. The multi-wives law. The sacrifices. Why do they do those? The fate of me and my sisters. Is having the chance to know a little more about them worth allowing a spell?

  “If I let you cast the spell on me, will you answer my questions?”

  “I'll answer what I can. There are some things I can't say. Like the engagement ceremony.”

  I nod. That I understand. “Cast it. Before I change my mind.”

  “Let's do it then.” He lifts his hands and I can't hide a flinch. “It won't hurt.”

  A white light shines from his hands and encompasses me. I feel only the air around me though, nothing more.

  “Have you ever had a truth spell cast on you before?”

  “No. Father never did.” He mistakenly assumed I'd never dare lie to him.

  “Tell a lie then, any lie, so you know what it will be like.”

  Lie on purpose, what does one say to that? I go with something easy. “I've only brothers.”

  The light surrounding me pulses and becomes dark.

  “To get it back you need only tell a truth. Remember, if at any time you'd like to stop, just let me know and we will.”

  “All right.”

  The light goes back to white. Chancellor Zade moves closer to me on the bench. “Are you asking questions about the council on behalf of your Father?”

  “No.”

  “Why are you asking about it?”

  “I'm curious about what's happening. I want to know more.” The light remains white.

  “Are you in any way trying to get me off of the council?”

  “No.”

  “Are you associated with anyone trying to end my life?”

  I tilt my head to the side. Though I know of the intruder searching for him, I wasn't expecting the question. “I'm not.”

  He nods like he anticipated my answer, but a few of the lines ease from his face. “What do you know of my family?”

  “Your family? Why is that relevant?”

  “You can answer the question and we'll talk about the council, or we can be done.”

  I didn't know his family was such a taboo subject. “I know very little about your family and just what you've told me. You respect your mother.”

  He gives a small smile. “What are your intentions toward me?”

  My intentions toward him? “I have none.”

  The light turns ashy. He lifts his brows. I look at the fountain. Why doesn't the spell like that answer? Why don't I? “I don't know what my intentions are.” The light pales a bit, though still off. “You're different than other warlocks, but I don't know if I can trust it. If you're true to your word, I wish you nothing ill.”

  The light flashes back to white. “And if I don't stay true to my word?” He holds up a hand. “Never mind, don't answer that. I'll stay true to my word. I didn't cast this spell to invade your privacy.”

  He waves his hand and the spell lifts from me. “Your Father wants me out of the council and I have to protect myself against that. Thank you for being willing. What do you want to know?”

  It almost seems silly now, wondering about the council. But one thing did make me wonder. “Why did you ask me if I was associated with those trying to end your life?”

  “There have been more death threats against me than the attempt you know about. A few, not enough to get concerned over, but I want to make sure before I tell you too much.”

  “A few?” As in more than one? My mouth goes dry.

  “Nothing to get concerned over.”

  It sounds like something worrisome. “Do you know where the threats are coming from?”

  He shakes his head. “A few guesses, but no evidence of anything. In fact, I would feel better if you learned to use a gun.”

  “A gun? Me? I'm not sure I'm supposed to touch one.” No one in Chardonia uses one, man or woman.

  “I checked the laws, there's nothing that says you can't. The idea might sound foreign, but it'd help me out if you had some sort of protection if they come to the house again. It's warded, but sometimes that's not enough.”

  This is something he seriously thinks I should do. Remembering how scared I was when I heard him coming, thinking he was an intruder and not knowing what to do, helps me understand where he's coming from. But one of those guns in my hands? “I don't know.”

  “You can think it over, but it'd be best.” His expression eases. “Didn't you want to know something about the council and not things about me?”

  After talk of guns, my brain feels muddled. “I don't know what to ask. It was silly of me.”

  “Not silly. You were willing to put yourself through a spell of honesty. If you ever think of anything, please come ask me.”

  “You asked me what I know of your family, is there something I should know about them?”

  “I guess if we're to be married, you should know something. They're nice. Different from your parents. A lot different. Mom never lets Dad tell her what to do. In fact it usually goes the other way around.”

  I'm stunned. “Your mother punishes your Father?”

  “No, never that. Mom's just the bossy one.”

  “Oh.” The concept is still foreign to me. How can she be bossy without getting punished for it?

  “Do you have any other questions?”

  The only one I can remember right now is the major slip I let out about going to a council meeting. I'm not bringing that up again. “If I think of anything, I'll let you know.”

  “Good.” He pushes some rocks around with the toe of his boot. “If there's anything else you'd like to ask me or do with me, I could fix that, too.”

  For some reason, the statement makes my face hot. There's nothing for us to do together until we marry and that's not a part of my life I want to contemplate. “Like what?”

  He gestures at nothing. “Anything.”

  “What did you do with your other fiancee?”

  An unhappy chuckle snorts from him. “She's not like you.” I try not to bristle as he gets a faraway look in his eyes. “We danced at balls, had dinner together with our families, had tea together with our mothers. Talked. That sort of thing.”

  So the dancing thing is one of them, and he has met my family and talked to them. “We haven't danced at a ball, but how's the rest any different?”

  “She's just—”

  “Serena,” Cynthia calls out, interrupting our conversation before I can learn how his fiancee is better than me. I'm not sure if I want to know more about her anyway. Zade seems more attached to her than I thought and it makes my insides give an odd twist.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Feeling resentful, I watch Cynthia round a hedge, her chocolate-colored dress trailing behind her, a matching set of jewelry with it. “There you are. Father's carriage is coming down the lane.”

  The resentment is replaced by excitement. “He sent word that Bethany's joining us.”

  “He's letting her come? Why aren't we out there yet?”

  She races back to the house. I follow her as fast as my legs will let me without running. Chancellor Zade strides ahead and opens the door for us. Once inside, we follow him through the halls to the entryway where he once again holds the door open for us.

  I rush outside, then remember myself and take the last few steps at a more sedate pace. Cynthia dashes all the way to the carriage. I suppose I should just be grateful she came and found me before running out.

  At the bottom of the steps, I wait. The Chancellor must have decided to wait inside or went to do some work because he doesn't follow. A footman opens the carriage doors. Bethany emerges looking as if she's grown since I last saw her. Her dark-blonde hair is pulled back away from her face showing off her sparkling green eyes and innocent face. She smiles as Cynthia launches into a narrative of our dealings. At one point Bethany nods, but Cynthia doesn't stop long enough for her to do any more.

  Finally, Bethany gestures to the house and the girls walk t
oward me. Every bit of lightness is instantly gone. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I want to cry, but hold it in and let myself seethe. Bethany is limping.

  Any accident would have been healed already. Father punished her and thought the crime warranted natural healing. But she's never been rebellious or as outspoken as me. I can't imagine her doing anything to cause such punishment. Maybe it's meant as a reminder to me. Breakfast sours in my stomach. I can't get away from him even here. I'll always be owned and I or someone I love will suffer because of it.

  I think back to the letter he sent. It implied that the Chancellor has been punishing me, so maybe I really have nothing to do with why she's been hurt. Besides, Father's never hurt one of us to teach another. Though he did threaten to if I wouldn't drink the tea, but I'm sure it's only because he knew it would work. I don't know if he thinks it would be an effective punishment for me or not.

  Bethany manages a smile when she reaches me, but her eyes are tight with pain. She's hurting worse than she'd like us to know. Cynthia falls silent.

  “Hello, Serena.”

  “Bethany.” I try to pour all of my love for her in that one word. “Welcome to the Chancellor's house.”

  Her gaze travels over the manor behind me. “It's huge. I wonder how many times Father's would fit inside it?”

  “About seven and a half,” Cynthia says. We both look at her. “What? I know I shouldn't have, but I was curious as well.”

  Bethany giggles, but it doesn't last long. I'm hurt, angry, sad for her too much to bother with more than half a smile. She still has to get up the stairs to the house then there's all the stairs to her chamber. Even with servants help, she'll hurt too much. It won't do.

  Bethany says, “I'm excited to see the room we'll share. If the outside is like this, I can't imagine how big it is inside.”

  “There's absolutely no sharing involved,” Cynthia says. “Serena wouldn't let me, even when I tried.”

  “How do you manage to sleep without an elbow in your ribs?”

  “It's easier to overcome than you might think,” I say. “Cynthia, would you mind taking Bethany to the parlor? A little refreshment would be good before setting her loose on the place.”